Just when I thought I had it all together and was feeling calm, cool and collected about the idea of nearing the end of my pregnancy, I was hit with another whirlwind of emotion, doubt and tight energy. In my rational brain, I knew it went with the territory. The impact of the hormones, the fatigue and the list of unknowns surrounding giving birth were immense. But when I thought I had a handle on it and was feeling ready, rational went out the door and I found myself tangled in a tricky place. The last bit leading up to my little one’s birth became an exercise in letting go of control, …

  One of the big things that happens to many moms-to-be during the second or third trimester of a pregnancy is a powerful desire to scrub, clean and organize the house. We've all heard the term "nesting," a cutesy play on the idea that we are mama birds, feathering our nests in preparation for our eggs to hatch. This being my second pregnancy, the nesting urge seemed somewhat illusive this time around. When I was having my first baby, I became very consumed with lists of needed items, took all the prep classes, and read books about the safest products almost from the start. This time, I just …

  I was having a chat with a friend recently about parenting. I asked her, sort of matter of fact, why it feels like this parenting thing nearly splits me in two sometimes. It makes me face so many things about myself that can be hard, often on a daily basis. I've got to be outspoken, brave, diplomatic, patient, and dig so deep sometimes I think I'll reach the Earth's core. A part of me honestly thought the hardest part of parenting a little one would be getting up in the night, having a flabby stomach and a messy house. But it is so much more than that. All the stretching, learning, and …

  Like many folks, I spent this weekend celebrating Mother's Day. Some consider it a greeting card company holiday, and it blends into the background of a Sunday of errands, grocery shopping and sporting events. Maybe we send our mom a card, or some flowers. Maybe we visit, take her to brunch, or just call her on the phone. We let her know she is thought of and loved, and leave it at that.   That was my usual approach to this month of May holiday. But being pregnant during this year’s Sunday of spring flowers and chocolates seemed to ratchet it up a few levels for me. I suppose it was obvious…

  When I was pregnant with my first baby, I became interested in watching TV shows about pregnancy, labor and delivery. Soon-to-be parents would be shown on their way to the hospital in the throes of labor. Often, however, the mother would be crying in the front seat, not because she was worried about the birth of her new baby, but from leaving her first child, a 2 or 3 year old, asleep in his own bed. A sweet aunt or grandmother would be shown caring for her first-born, but in her mind, she had left him “alone.” Another money shot for the show would be a little preschooler climbing into the …

  With the third trimester of my pregnancy approaching at the speed of light, my thoughts have naturally shifted from focusing on keeping the little chap in, to getting him, successfully and safely, out. Labor and delivery are a huge part of every pregnancy, and perhaps the most loaded of all aspects of the whole nine months. Before giving birth, it is very difficult to know what to expect, even with reading copious books, talking with friends, doctors, and attending birth classes. What it will actually feel like, how we will react to the emotional aspects of this day (or days), can be hard …

  Some days it feels tough to be six months pregnant and the stay-at-home mom of a preschooler. I actually found myself saying to my daughter recently, this pregnancy is sucking the life out of me.  I would generally not say this in front of her, never mind directly to her, but my tired mind, achy hips, and heartburning chest forgot momentarily that she is only four years old. At that moment, she was just another soul, traveling this ever-expanding world with me. I turned it immediately into a silly joke, hoping to minimize any scarring toward pregnancy for her future.  I began remembering a …

  This is a follow up to a previous column about the preschool descision which I wrote in December of 2010 called To Preschool or Not to Pre-school.  About a year and a half ago, I was the mom of a 2.5 year old, who was adorable, lovable and just beginning to play a bit with other kids, rather than just sitting beside them doing her own thing. We were investigating preschools in the area, but my heart was not really in it, and I wasn't completely convinced preschool was in the future for us at all. I was still in cozy new-mom mode, not ready to give up total control (or the control I believed…

  With the sun hanging around longer at the end of the workday, the saturated blue returning to the sky, and the sprouting of tiny grasses and crocuses in neighboring yards and parks, spring is definitely tickling at our backs. The arrival of catalogs full of gardening tools, whirligigs and seeds has me itching to get out in the yard, rake up the dead leaves, expose the soil underneath and get ready to plant something new. When my family moved to Watertown, we were blessed to become the caretakers of a giant Norway maple, which the arborist estimated at 125 years old. My daughter named it …

  During an early prenatal appointment, the midwife described pregnancy as a “time of growth.” She was speaking of physical growth, but not just the obvious growth of the baby and my waistline.  As a pregnancy progresses, hair grows faster and falls out less; nails grow longer and stronger. Moles, freckles, dark skin patches; anything I normally experience at the pace of the tortoise, speeds up to the pace of the hare. At the time of the appointment I was experiencing a special type of this physical growth; the apparently very common cervical polyp. And although minor, it was causing a fair …

  As my pregnancy progresses, and I enter the second trimester, I thought there was no better time to let my body know how thankful I am for all of its hard work. Even though this is my second pregnancy, the mind plays tricks on us mamas, causing us to forget many of the trying, gunky parts of pregnancy. It is not until we are smack-dab in the middle of it again, that we remember how physical it all is. This might seem obvious; of course the process is physical. Our bodies are growing a human being from particles of microscopic dust to kicking and screaming bundles of joy. But just how much …

Drew Barrymore runs across the green grass at Fenway during a game in the playoffs. She is heading to the arms of Jimmy Fallon, her ex-fiancé, weaving and bobbing from security guards, hoping to stop him from selling his season tickets, and to let him know that she doesn't care if he loves the Red Sox as much as he loves her. And I am on the couch sobbing, as if I'm watching "Schindler's List." I must be pregnant. But it is still too early to take a test. Well, technically there are tests that promise to give you results days and days before you are officially late, but those can just be a …

I recently visited Habitat in Belmont with my daughter and the 4-year old class from her preschool and I wanted to share our experience: In this day and age, and especially in a metropolitan area full of traffic, noise and fences, it is rare for our kids to have the opportunity to run freely in an open meadow, discover hands-on the difference between deciduous and evergreen trees, or hear the sound of their own breath after a hardy climb over petrified logs. But due to a unique collaboration between Mass Audubon’s Habitat and the Belmont Cooperative Nursery School, a bunch of 4 and 5 year …

My daughter asked me a few days ago what a New Year’s Resolution is. She had heard some adults talking about it at a gathering, and wanted to know what it was all about. (Recently she is asking questions that cause me to pause before answering.) I explained to her that it is something people do at the start of a new year, when we make a plan for something that we want to do or improve about ourselves. I’m not sure this made any sense. In her 3-year-old mind, we are all pretty much perfect as we are, right? I tried to explain further. Sometimes when we eat too much candy and we know that is …

As I get older, the time between Thanksgiving and New Year’s Day feels as if it is morphing into fewer and fewer days. As a kid, it always felt like an eternity as we waited for the big day. Now the time goes by with what feels like barely enough time to get it all together. This year I’m trying an experiment: focusing on feeling the holidays, rather than doing the holidays. In recent years, I seem to have the same thoughts as the holiday approaches. Should we get a tree the weekend after Thanksgiving? It feels so early. And it is 50 degrees outside. How about next weekend? But then there …

As fall sets in and we spend more time in the house, I’ve noticed how full it has become with stuff. The spring and summer flew by, and as we rushed in and out to have fun in the sun, deep cleaning and keeping order were put on the back burner. Now we are inside, amongst the disorganized toys, clothes and well-loved areas of the house.  In an effort to bring some order to my own closet, I pulled a bunch of sweaters from a shelf and several pairs of shoes that will become necessities as winter rolls in. I was listening to music, and just re-folding clothes and wiping off boots without really …

On the rare occasions when I am home alone, the first thing that always surprises me is the silence. On a preschool day when I have the luxury of being in the house alone ever so briefly, or on a weekend when my partner and daughter visit the library or grocery store and I have not given in to the gravitational pull of the TV, I’m struck by how odd the house feels. It is quiet, but a certain palpable energy lingers, long after the front door has been clicked shut. The noises that filled the house just moments ago feel as if they are still here.  Like me, the house appears to anticipate being …

I don’t think of my daughter as a picky eater, refusing entire food groups or only eating peanut butter sandwiches for every meal. She eats a decent variety of foods, but does a very good impression of Sally Albright from the film, When Harry Met Sally, “she wants what she wants the way she wants it.” She falls more into the category of finicky.  The word on the playground is that having a finicky eater around the age of three is very common. Moms all over discuss this, and each has a different way of dealing with the independent-minded preschooler who will take as much control as he can …

It is no secret that when I had a child my life changed. I had to buy a lot of stuff and wrestle to put it together, learn about things like teething and how to deal with an umbilical cord that didn’t heal on its own. What I didn’t fully appreciate were the internal shifts and changes that would happen to me as my child grew. I knew she would be going through rapid change and I would have to discover how to support her at each stage, but I didn’t know it would present me with a buffet of inner shifts and choices of my own.  My 3-year-old started preschool, which has given me a few moments of …

Recently I feel surrounded by the news of too many tragedies, people losing children or spouses unexpectedly to accidents or diseases that came without warning. It may be that these events are always happening, but my awareness is heightened around this time of year, as I am reminded of the enormity of the loss suffered on 9/11. A friend conveyed a story of how she had not checked her Facebook page in a while, and when she did, saw in close proximity two messages from an old friend. One message expounded joy and celebration, and just a few posts down a message explained how tragedy had struck…